breathing

This next chapter in your life is going to be a difficult one. But, when you move on to the next you will have more experience and more knowledge. Unfortunately, this is one of those life situations that has no easy button. I realize that is typically the case anyway, BUT, this one will be harder. It is going to be painful. You will struggle emotionally and that sucks. It's going to push on your chest and make it so you can't breathe. It hurts like a mother! It does help to distract yourself. Be sure you do this in a healthy way though. Don't lose sight of yourself in all of this. You are definitely going to need to 're-find' yourself. You will surprise yourself with many traits about yourself that you didn't even realize you lost. And THAT will balance out the 'bad'. You will see yourself again and literally say, "hey, I forgot about that girl...it's good to have her back!". Definitely go out and do things, especially with friends and family that have been with you since before. Yes, you should continue to meet new people and get out there as a distraction. But, keep in mind, when you do that, you're adding more to your "plate". So, keep a distance emotionally. You are after all already dealing with a shit-ton of emotions on this roller coaster of life. In my healing, I learned to focus a lot more time with those already in my life that I may have neglected because all of my time was focused on catering to him. I always had to be sure he was happy, not me. I had to be sure he had what he needed, not my family. I always gave 110% of my time to him and didn't share it with anyone else, not even myself. I've learned you have to find balance not only with yourself, but with everyone else. Now, don't get me wrong...no one is perfect. No one has the perfect formula of life down pat. We are human after all. The secret of life is getting up every day and NOT just going through the motions. Take a minute to bask in the sun before you walk in to work. Clear your mind and just feel it. Make it a point to stay clear and level headed. If you 'numb' this pain, it's not going to go anyway. You have to live through it. If you numb it, it will just be there when you 'wake-up' months down the road. I know that you realize you have to deal with this. It will hurt SO bad. But, remember with bad there is good. Once you get past the bad and the sucky and the friggin crap-bowl you've been handed, you can only get better from there. The jack-tard that put you here and handed you this rotten-ass, cesspool of garbage is on him. Yes, you do have to deal with it. But, it's nothing you did wrong. It's not a complicated mess that YOU created. Remember that. We women always deal with all of the bullshit that they hand us and always have to clean up after them. Pick up the pieces. It's a bunch of bullshit for sure. BUT, we always come out on top, don't we. Side track yourself. You HAVE to go thru the motions of this hard time. There's no getting around that. BUT, if you do it level headed and suck in all that bad....deal with it now with no delay...you can exhale ALL THAT SHIT OUT. Then and only then will you only be able to breathe fresh air again. And GIRL let me tell you...it is some mighty fine and damned DELICIOUS AIR.